Pearls - my favourite comic strip

Pearls Before Swine

Spot, the Seeing Eye Dog

Friday
Success! Spot has clearly pushed the boundaries of good taste for Seeing Eye Dog lovers and 'Spot and the Easter Egg hunt' has enjoyed a bright but brief life on the work noticeboard. Less than 24 hours after being posted it has been removed. Rest In Peace old boy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday
In my workplace, a number of persons of certain type have teamed up to sponsor a Seeing Eye Dog. This is a worthy cause and a meritorious team building initiative. The dog in question, Zadena, writes to said persons with the most recent correspondence received in time for Easter.
Now I ask you, WHO WOULDN'T SEE RED after receiving a picture like this :

So, a muck-raking we will go. Here is contribution number three (previous contributions here). Many thanks to regular reader, "Rise tall" et al, for his inspiration. You will recognise your work !

Seeing Eye Dogs II

As they say in the classics, 'a gag is a gag.' The second entry posted on our work noticeboard regarding the team fundraising for a Seeing Eye Dog.
Doesn't have quite the killer comedy element I was hoping for, but amusing enough I suppose.


In a small "in-joke" for my own amusement, I named our Seeing Eye Dog in this letter 'Argus' after the giant of Greek mythology who had a hundred eyes.
Apropos of nothing, Argus was a servant of God Hera. When Argus was slain by Hermes, Hera commeorated her faithful watchman by preserving the hundred eyes of Argus in a peacock tail.

Seeing Eye Dogs - workplace pranks

In a bid to undermine the OBs* that think they run this office, I have taken it on myself to gently provoke (for my own amusement, mind) wherever possible. Naturally when slightly more mischievous opportunities arise I maximise the moment (such as the keys to the locked cupboard in the kitchen that have mysteriously disappeared, leaving the cupboard unlocked) but now is not the time.
A number of staff thought that sponsoring a Seeing Eye Dog would be just the ticket to contribute towards something worthwhile in the community. Our noticeboard has since been adorned with a cutey-wootey widdle puppy dog, snuffling up to the camera (stock standard SEDA photo #53) and a sponsor's letter. I can imagine a 9 year old girl just loving to receive this. Here it is (click on the image to enlarge) :


In a bid to mock the entire process (naturally) I have since posted, anonymously of course, the following variation on the puppy theme :


I intend to add another one next week : a beer swilling, gambling addicted greyhound. I hope the owners of said puppy are outraged and rip my contribution down. If I fail to provoke then I will be forced to remove the puppy's picture and post it back to the head OB. I will let you know how I get along. Reader's suggestions for future Dog gags welcome.

*OB refers to certain female personages about whom I will not refer to on-line in any more detail. Off-line however is a different issue !

Home Fix-it

Yep, that's my new indicator lever on my Holden Commodore VN. The factory-fitted lever which served its purpose for the vehicle's first 16 years of life sheared off after getting caught in my suit jacket, on one of those searingly hot days we experienced recently.

I drilled a small hole in the end of the indicator stub which was still attached to the steering column. I then inserted a 20cm wood screw which remarkably, has held firm.
My two biggest fears were that
1) there were some key electrics in the steering column that would react violently should I drill through them, and
2) the plastic surrounding the screw would disintegrate and my solution would prove falliable. I supported the plastic base of my new look indicator with some good, old fashioned, U.S. made gaffer tape.
The outcome so far : the wood screw is stuck fast and allows the driver to easily indicate and operate the high beam. Until it doesn't work, I cannot see why I will need to buy a replacement part and have a mechanic install it !

Touche

Pearls Before Swine - freakin' hilarious. Today, a little closer to life.

Lost

When reviewers do comedy, sometimes it’s funny. Here is Fergus Shiel’s review of next week’s ep. of Lost :

“I could tell you that this episode will reveal much about Eko’s violent past, shed light on his mysterious 40-day vow of silence, crack the secret of the Virgin Mary statues and give Claire reason to doubt Charlie’s commitment to the straight and narrow. But I know [that] all you diehard Lost fans want to hear is that Kate gives Sawyer a much-needed haircut and that has to mean they’re going to get hot and jiggy.”

Cyclone Larry - a story

Rat in a Hat felt a moment of regret for his friends but knew the salvation of him and his family was at stake. Cyclone Larry had swept through the central Queensland coast wreaking destruction in its path. The small village where Rat, the Teddies and B1 and B2 all lived happily, had been rent asunder by the fierce winds and thrashing rain.
Rat had burrowed deep underground where he had long ago discovered an existing network of forgotton drains and tunnels. There, he and his family had waited out the storm raging above ground.
The Bananas had fared less well as their thatched hut amongst the plantations had been blown away early and with no protection from the elements, the yellow skinned friends had tried desperately to cling to neighbouring vegetation. The ferocity of the cyclone however destroyed hectare upon hectare of the delicate fruit and it was during a sustained period of high wind that the Bananas were tossed from their hiding place and lost their lives.
Morgan had suspected early in the evening that the Bananas house would not survive the storm and had set out to locate his friends and urge them to safety. Alone in their basement, Lulu and Amy had clung to each other while the cyclone raged. Initially they clung in fear and slowly as the long night progressed their fear gave way to desperation when Morgan did not return.
Stirring long withheld feelings, the frenzy from without manifested itself into passion within and neither Lulu nor Amy were even aware that the cyclone had passed as they lay content in each others arms when the first light of morning broke.
Meanwhile, from his hiding place, Rat in a Hat scouted for fresh food and water that would ensure his immediate survival.
The Hat family nibbled on freshly peeled banana that their father had secured, unaware of its true origin.

How Cool Is That ?

British satellite broadcaster BSkyB has filmed the opening sequence to the Simpsons with real people. Watch it via the Age website here.

*Palace Cinema

Each year the Palace Cinema chain send me a free movie ticket for Christmas which is very kind of them and one that I am happy to oblige. Given my current lifestyle and responsibilities however it is not that easy to find the time to get to a cinema made harder by navigating your way through their ticket restrictions (not on Saturday evenings, not on public holidays, not No Free List movies etc) before their use by date. Last night I was there for the 6:30P session of Capote and found out it was still a No Free List film. The only movie that was showing around that time for which I was permitted to use my pass was Brokeback Mountain at 7:00P. Notwithstanding that I would like to see that movie at some stage, I took up my free option with a ticket for Brokeback and then at 6:30P, as intended, walked into the Capote screening. The cinema was barely half-full and the doorways not patrolled by officious staff. Their own cost saving measures (by employing less staff) meant they could not enforce a restriction that is plainly ridiculous in the first place. Either place No Free List on a movie in its first week only (Capote has been out for three weeks already and it is not a Star Wars or Lord of the Rings type of blockbuster) or do not put infantile restrictions on what is supposed to be a goodwill gesture. And don't be dictated to !

Here's a funny thing

I have deliberately not turned my critical eye toward the GG or its contributors too often this year however a couple of things this week caught my eye.

Letters to the editor express a range of (albeit predictable) outrage ranging from radio mis-programming on ClassicFM or 774 ABC, the late running of Lost/DesperateHousewives/TheAmazingRace/CommanderInChief or the poor choice of conetestants on DancingWithTheStars (Molly Meldrum drew the most ire). Constance E Little from Eagle Point however has written in regarding a show that does not attract much attention and about a time shift that most others would not bat an eyelid to :

Many listeners are disappointed that the ABC has moved the 'Songs Of Praise' program from 11am to 1130am on Sunday. The new time is too close to lunch. We all need spiritual refreshment as well as body nourishment. Please return to 11 o'clock.

And finally, the picture of the Vega FM breakfast crew (Shaun Micallef et al) is the same picture that has been used twice already by the photo ed. at GG and was taken in the weeks before Vega went to air, in the middle of last year ! What do they take us for ? Regular watchers of Songs of Praise ?

Juxta position

If you do get a chance to look at a hard copy of today's GG, then turn to page 32. Under the heading 'Prison Break' and paragraph about the channel 7's new show, is a picture of Jamie Oliver making his getaway in a blue row boat.
There's an article about Jamie Oliver too on this page however my eye immediately associated the picture with the article and figures that those making a "break" had done it via row boat. You decide.